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When Massage is not Perfect

Most massage devotees know the benefits that massage brings to them in their life which may be physical, emotional or spiritual (or a combination thereof). Once people find a therapist that they are happy with then they will generally stick with that therapist so that they know that they will get a great bodywork experience each time. They have a good dialogue with their therapist who knows what they do and do not like for their massage session.

However, there are times when circumstances dictate that you may need to see a different masseur such as you are in a different town or your normal therapist is not able to fit you in.

when massage goes wrongNow you are probably comfortable to accept that the massage will probably not be as good as the one you are used to but there are a number of reasons why it may not be the experience you are looking for. For me, these include:

(1) The therapist performs a “cookie-cutter” massage. They just do the massage they normal do and there is no attempt to customise the massage to any requirements you may have let the therapist know. This approach may be ok if you are just having a relaxation massage in a day spa but if you are after any type of remedial massage then there is nothing more annoying than the therapist spending minimal time on parts of the body that you really want to be massaged.

(2) When an hour’s massage includes the time to discuss your requirements and your undressing/dressing time. If you are paying for a massage but end up only getting 45 minutes of hands-on time then you will feel cheated and any relaxation that the massage achieves can dissipate instantly.

(3) Being basted with oil. I really do not like excessive oil and it’s a turn off if the therapist is constantly reaching for the bottle of lubricant to apply more and more oil or lotion. Less is more when it comes to massage, in my view. How can a massage therapist feel the soft tissues and muscles when their hands are skidding over the skin like a skater on ice?

(4) The therapist being a poor time keeper. If you are having (and even enjoying) a “cookie-cutter” massage you realise that the routine the therapist is performing is being curtailed and rushed on one side of the body compared with the other. It may be that your right leg gets 10 minutes of care and attention but, as the clock ticks on, the left side only ends up with a cursory couple of strokes.

(5) A distracted therapist. Answering the phone or door or talking to any other therapist is a no-no for me. I’m paying for you to massage me not plan later appointments (or even worse your social life). Also just going through the motions with the massage and not using your hands to listen to what my body is telling you.

(6) Bad breath.

(7) Incidental contact with other parts of your body other than the massage tools you intend to use. Your stomach bracing against my head as you stroke down my back or your boobs in my face whilst you are working on my chest or stomach is not professional.

(8) Lack of thought with music. I don’t like the radio on during a massage and I don’t like Adele.

This is not meant as a critique of the massage profession in general but more a whimsical depiction of some of the more negative experiences I have had during massages and some of the things I specifically do not like. It is not to decry the positive energy I normally get from massage.

However, feel free to add any others you may have in the comments section below…..

By Richard Lane

Posted in General Health, Massage, Massage Tips and tagged as

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